WOW.
motherhood is hard right now, guys. anyone else struggling?
The twins have been testing me... daily. Like to the point where I say "I'm going to pack a bag for the baby & I, and I am leaving!" (....mom, can I come home now? HA!)
Seriously though..... I'm going to be 100% real right now. The twins have been driving me absolutely crazy! I spend most of my days cleaning up their messes (toys, CRUMBS, etc) all over my house, breaking up constant fights, screaming at the top of my lungs.. "stop doing ninja moves on your brother" "leave daddy alone, he's working" "you can't go outside by yourself, someone will take you" "the baby is sleeping please lower your voices" "your brother is not a dog" "your going to get hurt" *que tears*....naturally, with the occasional swear thrown in when I'm really ticked off (that has been more often recently.. but whatever.. sue me.... you do it too, I'm just being honest lol) . the list truly could go on... please tell me I'm not alone.....
But like clockwork, once I get the crew to sleep, I go in to their now bunk beds, crawl in with each of them & kiss them 100 times, tell them I love them 100 more times, snuggle them, and apologize for being such a grump.
Which leads me to spend most of my nights feeling like a total mom failure & crying to Matt about how I feel like a bad mom. And promising myself "tomorrow, I'll be more relaxed...it's going to be a good day!" .........right? usually, I am wrong. and the next day ends up like a whole lot of the day before. it's a vicious cycle right now. Matt does do a good job reassuring me that I'm a great mom though, and that our kids are just a little nuts haha! It's funny because it's true... they are the wild things, in real life.
Arie has been so good & sweet... but he just recently started to wake up every hour at night screaming. He's in the process of teething & the poor thing is getting 3 at once right now. So I am also pretty sleep deprived, which I am used to. But it's definitely causing me to be more agitated during the day.
This quarantine has flipped us all upside down. We miss doing things & going places. Seeing our families....everything that was our normal, has pretty much been non existent right now. We're all trying to figure it out. I know that it's hard on them... it's confusing & they ask everyday if they can go see their cousins. They actually miss going to the market... They beg to go with Matt whenever we are really in need of some things. We don't let them obviously, but they try every time.
which leads me to my next point.... I have not "left" this house since March 14th, besides going to two doctor appointments with Arie. I am going a little stir crazy at this point. I need this to be over.
I need to be at the beach with a margarita in hand, no worries in the world, watching my boys play in the sand together, while Matt is sitting next to me.....constantly refilling my marg HAHA! just kidding. But seriously, I can't wait to be at the ocean with my family. We think and talk about it everyday. Once we get the OK.... peace out JT... hello OCNJ.
I know things will get better, sometimes it just seems like it won't. But it will! And I'd rather have all of these rough times with my family, than not have anything at all. They are my life.
I am so grateful for those 2 buggers...and their little bro. And of course, Matt. We're a team. A team that sometimes loses, but we're always going to get back up & try again. We are in this together. & that's all that matters.
xoxo,
Erin
No comments:
Post a Comment