Chocolate Chip Banana Bread

my mom used to make this recipe when I was still living at home & it's been a favorite of mine since. And now, it's my little family's favorite banana bread too. The twins love it, Matt loves it, I love it.... anyone who ever tries it, loves it. I mean, who wouldn't...there's chocolate chips in it. And it's banana bread, so it's totally acceptable to eat for breakfast right?? right. The boys have been helping me make this since they were big enough to sit on the counter! It's super easy + it's perfect to make with kids while we are all stuck inside during this quarantine. Stay healthy, friends! & happy baking!
(this only makes 1 bread. I had 4 bananas to use, so I made 2)

CHOCOLATE CHIP BANANA BREAD

2 eggs

2 cups flour

1 cup sugar

1 tsp baking powder

1 tsp salt

1/2 tsp baking soda

1 cup ripe bananas (I usually do 2 bigger bananas)

1/2 cup shortening

1 cup of chocolate chips

1. preheat oven to 350
2. grease bottom + sides of a loaf pan
3. combine all ingredients (except for the chocolate chips), + mix at medium speed until well combined.
4. Stir in chocolate chips & pour batter into prepared loaf pan
5. bake for 60-65 minutes

Let me know if you make it!! I'd love to see what you think of it! :) xoxo

**side note: if you have bananas and they aren't ripe yet: put foil on a sheet pan & place bananas directly on the foil. Bake at 300 for 15-20 minutes & you'll have perfectly ripened bananas for bread, muffins, etc.!**

Strawberry Ice Cream in a Bag

homemade ice-cream in under 10 minutes? SIGN. ME. UP.

The best part about this recipe, is that we always have these ingredients in the house no matter what.  After yesterday's 70+ degree weather & sun, I was in the mood for a cold treat, but with this quarantine, we are really trying to make do with what we have on hand...so when I saw how easy it was to make, I wanted to give it a shot. Plus, my boys love ice cream!!

STRAWBERRY ICE CREAM IN A BAG

1 cup of fresh strawberries, sliced & chopped
1 tsp of vanilla extract
1 cup of half & half
2-3 tablespoons of sugar
1/4 cup kosher salt
4 cups ice cubes
1 gallon ziplock
1 quart ziplock

1. clean & chop up strawberries

2. add strawberries, vanilla, half & half, & sugar to smaller ziplock bag. Seal tightly.

3. in the larger ziplock, add the ice cubes & kosher salt.

4. place the smaller bag inside the bigger bag & seal.

5. shake the bags for 10 minutes.

 after ten minutes of shaking, this was the final product! It was SO good. I think next time we will try it with peaches!!

thank you to @IvyOdom for sharing this delicious recipe!!

enjoy your ice cream :)

xoxo

Our Journey -- Miscarriage

This post might be TMI for some of you, so if you're not comfortable talking about miscarriage/pregnancy, you can just skip this post. I had so many girls reach out to me after I shared Arie's birth story, & were happy I brought up my miscarriages. It hit home with a lot of people. Miscarriage is not something people like to talk about... it's normally a very hush hush subject. To me, it was therapeutic to share my losses... & I wanted my babies to be known. They are not a dirty secret to me... they are apart of me. This is going to be a long  & emotional post, so bear with me.

Where to even begin...... I guess I will start from the beginning...when I found out I was pregnant with T W I N S.

SEPTEMBER 2014
Talk about the shock of a lifetime.... am I right, Matt? I am sure most of you know, Matt & I weren't together very long before we found out I was pregnant. But, I knew the minute I met Matt that I was going to marry him & we were going to have a family together one day. Joke was on us...Our "one day" came pretty darn quick! Although it wasn't necessarily how we planned, we were excited! I always wanted to be a mom. Ask any of my friends.... I couldn't wait! Then it happened...times TWO. Baby A & Baby B. TWO BABIES. Wow. That escalated quickly.

My pregnancy with the twins was pretty much flawless. Even their delivery was a dream. They were born healthy on May 12th, 2015 at 38 weeks...zero problems! We were home 2 days after. It was the most ideal pregnancy! They are my life.

DECEMBER 2015
Once the twins turned 6 months, Matt & I started talking about adding to our family. We obviously had no trouble conceiving the twins, so we thought this was going to be a piece of cake. We were very wrong.

We tried for almost 2 years....without any luck. Nothing. I chalked it up to God wanting me to wait for the right time. Really, I did. The twins were in the stage of life that was a bit rough, so I thought when it happens, it happens. That didn't make every month not disappointing, though. Two years of negative tests, after negative tests.

SEPTEMBER 2017
In mid September, I found out I was pregnant! The twins were 2, & I thought it was perfect timing! I was so sick the first trimester...I even was a little nervous that I was having twins again. At 9 weeks, we went to my first ultrasound. I got to see my little baby wiggling around on the screen & see the flicker of the heartbeat. I'm going to be a mama again. I was so happy!

At 10 weeks, I noticed my morning sickness subsiding. I was happy for that, but also a little worried because I wasn't quite done my 1st trimester. But, everything else was going great. Or so I thought..

NOVEMBER 2017
The morning of my 14 week ultrasound,  I was on edge. I just felt super uneasy. Matt & I decided to bring the twins to this ultrasound so they could hear their baby brother or sisters heartbeat on the Doppler. I couldn't wait to see their reaction!!

We were called back & I lifted up my shirt to show my bare (growing) belly. They put on the gel & started to search for the heartbeat. They searched.....but found nothing.  "Don't worry, it's probably just hiding in there!" My heart sunk.... The doctor suggested we go into the ultrasound room to see where baby was hiding. We started the ultrasound & they found baby right away. As soon as I saw it, I knew. There was so movement...it just, laid there...lifeless inside my belly. The baby only measured at 10 weeks...which means, just a few days after my 9 week ultrasound, its heart stopped beating. Because my body had not realized the baby passed (this is called a missed miscarriage), and I showed no signs of miscarriage, they suggested I get a D & C. That Monday, I went in to get the procedure done. I can't describe the feeling of waiting in the hospital room to get my baby physically taken away from me...there is no pain like that. I cherished those last few moments before I was put under...and I prayed (& cried) to God that my baby knew how much I loved them & one day we would meet. & one day we will.

The procedure only lasted about 15-20 minutes, so when I woke up from anesthesia, Matt was there waiting for me. This was just the very beginning of my healing process..physically & emotionally.

It was tough over the next few months. In an instant things can be taken from you without warning....big things.. things that change your life. So, I knew it was going to be rough, I just didn't know how rough. I would cry at the drop of a hat. Eventually though, my tears slowed from everyday, to every other.. & so forth. It got a little easier everyday, but it still didn't take the pain away. You are forever changed when you go through something like that. A change I really just can't put into words. It's something I wouldn't wish on a single soul.

JULY 2018
We got the OK to start trying again after about 3-4 cycles, so that's what we did. In mid July, I got pregnant again with our fourth baby. I thought to myself, "God will not put you through that type of heartache again! You should be excited!" The very next day we took the twins camping with our close friends Aubrey, Mark & their 3 kids. If you know me.....I do not camp. My entire plan for this trip was to have some adult beverages with Aubrey so I could survive.....HA! God does has a sense of humor...and I did survive the camping trip & we had a lot of fun!

AUGUST 2018
I was excited, but cautious the first few weeks. At  9 weeks, Matt & I went to our first ultrasound..I dreaded it. I didn't want to go. Deep down, I knew something was just not right. If you are a mom, you know what feeling I'm talking about.

My ultrasound showed a very tiny & lifeless baby. It showed that around 6 weeks, the heart stopped beating. There really is no way to tell why...it just "happens". I called my mom on the way home & I remember crying to her telling her that it happened again. I could hear how heartbroken she was for me. I came home & once again began the process of healing my already very broken heart.

I was instructed to get another D&C, so that's what I did. Everything was the same as before...emotions, pain, everything. I will tell you this time I was mad at God... I relied on Him. I confided in Him.  I blamed Him. How could He let this happen to me AGAIN??? I know it isn't God's fault...believe me. In those moments though, I sure did take it out on Him. But, He forgave me & blessed me in the most amazing way....doesn't He always?

A few days after my procedure, I started having really bad pains, and *WARNING TMI*, I stood up in the morning and I felt a rush of blood. I called the doctor and they had me come in for an ultrasound. I had a huge blood clot. They started me on medicine that was supposed to start contractions in hopes of making the clot pass on its own. I thought, so you mean to tell me I have to start having contractions, AT HOME, all to just pass a blood clot? UGH. I was dreading this.

Unfortunately, it didn't work. I went back to the doctor and there was no change what so ever. I was sent straight to the hospital to get yet another emergency D&C. I had to do this all over again? A THIRD time?! This is becoming too much, I thought. I am spent...

I cried the entire way to the hospital. I was panicking this time... why is this happening?! I got to the hospital & thought what if they can't stop the bleeding & I have to get a hysterectomy?? I was a MESS. My hormones were going through a crazy amount of changes... so my anxiety was pretty high & I just couldn't even think straight. I cried to my doctor about my fears & I remember telling them they didn't have my permission to do a full or partial hysterectomy(they didn't even ask)....they promised it wouldn't come down to that, but I had to make sure. The procedure went smoothly... in & out in 20 minutes. Just like the other times. But, during the procedure noticed there was a tiny piece of "fetal tissue" left inside me from the previous D&C, which was the reason for the clotting. I was happy to be heading home to my two boys & ready to put this whole year of pain behind me.

JANUARY 2019
In early January, I found out I was pregnant again. When you have back to back losses, it's hard to get excited. I feel like I was robbed of that initial moment of happiness and excitement when I saw the positive pregnancy test this time. I called my doctor right away & asked to do everything & anything possible to help me keep this baby.

I had labs drawn to make sure my numbers were doubling. Longest few days EVER. Then I got the news that they were doubling!!! I was so happy! My doctors started me on progesterone pills & also baby aspirin. I truly believe both helped me in keeping this pregnancy. I also can thank my good friend, Cara, for giving me tons of advice & being a constant support to me during this time, even as she was going through her own struggles!! I don't know if I would have made it without her...I am so grateful for her friendship!

I got my first ultrasound at 6 weeks to make sure my pregnancy was viable. Everything was how it should be...& I was told to come back at 9 weeks for my first "real" ultrasound. Matt actually was away for this appointment, so my mom & sister came with to support me. I got very lucky in the family department. I can always count on them (even my brother & SIL all the way out in Arizona)! Everything looked perfect on my ultrasound! Thank goodness. I actually ordered my own doppler online so I could listen to the heartbeat any time I wanted. It saved me from a lot of worry. I listened to it almost everyday. That little heart was so strong!

Our DOUBLE RAINBOW Arie Michael Steigerwalt was born on September 15th, 2019! He is my little angel on earth!!! You can read all about his birth story here.

I won't lie and tell you that I don't cry from time to time thinking about my two babies in heaven. I do. I did just the other day as I was in the shower.. I think that's where most moms do their thinking & probably go to cry in peace. Some days are harder than others, but there is always a silver lining.

For those who are struggling to conceive, struggling to keep a baby, dealing with loss... I am here for you. And things WILL get better. You may not see it right now, but it will happen. I will pray for each & every one of you & I'm sending you all the biggest hugs. Please don't hesitate to reach out to me. I am open about my struggles for a reason & I would love to support you through yours. 

slow cooker bbq chicken with roasted potatoes & veggies

this is one of our favorite meals to make when I'm stuck on what to make for dinner. 

It's simple, it's easy + it's so good

 (& 4 year old approved)!! 

Easy dinners are my jam... especially when I have a baby on my hip most of the day + two crazy boys running around. This BBQ chicken is a staple in our family. Whenever we have a party with a large amount of people, I triple the recipe + there's usually none left over! I make a ton of roasted potatoes in the spring + summer...they're a perfect side + so easy to throw together. As for the veggies, I usually have a ton of different frozen veggies in the freezer. Typically, I just grab whatever looks good at Aldi + add them to our dish. If I have more time, I'll cut up whatever veggies I have in the fridge + roast them in the oven with evoo and s+p. If you try it, let me know! Hope you love it as much as my little family does! :)

SLOW COOKER BBQ CHICKEN

1 1/2 - 2 lbs chicken breast

12oz BBQ sauce (I used Burman's Carolina BBQ sauce)

1/2 cup Italian dressing

1/4 cup brown sugar

2 tbsp Worcestershire sauce

hamburger or ciabatta rolls

1. place chicken in slow cooker

2. in a medium bowl, combine all ingredients + mix well.

3. pour mixture over chicken + cook on low for 7 hrs

4. once cooked, shred + add chicken back into slow cooker

5. serve on rolls

ROASTED POTATOES

24oz bite sized medley potatoes

2 tbsp evoo

3 cloves of minced garlic

1/2 cup shredded parmesan

1 tbsp dried parsley

salt + pepper to taste

1. preheat oven to 400

2. wash + dry potatoes. place in baking dish

3. in small bowl, combine evoo, garlic, parmesan, parsley, and s+p

4. pour mixture over potatoes + stir to coat evenly

5. bake for 25-30 minutes, flipping halfway through

6. serve with extra parmesan or as is

HAPPY COOKING

Our Weekend 3-6-20

I hope everyone had a nice relaxing weekend & enjoyed the beautiful weather we had on Sunday! We sure did!!

F R I D A Y
Our weekend started off a little crazy. Matt was in Chicago for work & didn't get home until 5:30/6:00 pm. That's nothing new really... he usually gets home from work around that time when he isn't traveling...but, I sure did wish he was home to help when everything went down here!

Around lunch time on Friday Parker came to me complaining his head and eyes were "going in circles". He actually was crying in pain shortly after, so I became a little concerned & wanted to get him checked out. My mom usually is around to help me if I need her, but Fridays she runs errands & meets my dad for lunch ( they are the cutest), so she was already out and about by the time I called her.

Luckily, my sister was home so I dropped Peyton & Arie off so I could run Parker up to the urgent care in town. The doctor couldn't do much for him, just mentioned it could be cluster headaches & suggested I make an eye doctor appt & peds appt for him. We left to scoop up the kids at my sisters & as soon as we got into the car, he started screaming in pain that it was worse. I got to the end of the driveway & he started throwing up... all...over....my...car. 

My mom was home then so I ran into her house to get Parker cleaned up. We headed home & he seemed pretty good! Playing & eating.. acting normal. Matt got home (& thankfully cleaned out my car for me) & we went back to my parents for dinner. As soon as we got into the house, he immediately said the lights hurt his eyes and ran into the bathroom to throw up. ugh. I'm thinking he is starting with migraines. Poor baby. We packed up the kids & went straight home. He laid on the couch and fell asleep... all of us followed shortly after. It was a long day!

S A T U R D A Y
We woke up & Parker was back to 100%. Thank goodness. We had a slow morning but we all got ready for the day & ran out to Walmart to get a few things & went to get pizza for lunch on our way back home. Arie had his first "finger food" & loved it (big shocker there!) Once we got home we relaxed for bit before we got back into the car to go to mass at 4:30. After church, we usually go to see my nana (Gia) with my parents & my sister + her little family. We've done this for as long as I can remember,  & the kids love it (& so does my nana). We came home & Matt made steaks for supper, the kids went to bed semi early, & we ended the night playing cards & scrabble. Nights like those are my favorite.

S U N D A Y
we lost an hour...which is rough on all parents, but the kids really don't seem to mind, of course! Matt actually was supposed to leave for a work trip for the week, but it was cancelled because of the coronavirus. So happy we are able to keep him with us this week!!!

Everyone got ready for the day & Matt took the kids for a walk & to our local convenience store while I stayed back with Arie while he napped. Once he woke up, we ate lunch & went out for a walk. Going on walks is one of our favorite things to do together.. it always has been. The weather was gorgeous for March. Matt, Parker & Peyton ran back to the house to grab their baseball gear & the car so they could head down to my families t-ball field. Arie was sleeping in the stroller, so we walked down and met them at the field.

Our friends who have two kids around the twins age were there playing baseball too, so they were super excited to play with them! While the dads coached the kids, his wife & I got to catch up with each other. I haven't had "girl" time in a while, so it was nice!! We went to their place after for a bit & they offered to keep the twins so they could stay and play with the kids a bit longer while Matt, Arie & I ran to Lowes to get a new grill! I was dying to have burgers on the grill & since we tossed our old one, we needed to get a new one! While we waited for the grill, we stocked up on some garden necessities. This is my favorite time of year... we have a huge garden bed that goes along the back fence. I love it!

We had burgers, baked beans & macaroni salad for supper.....the twins of course has ice cream for dessert! Their favorite!! We went up to bed shortly after...boys fell asleep pretty quickly, which gave Matt & I the chance to watch watch the Walking Dead until 10. It was a long, but really nice weekend together. These are the weekends I L I V E for! Family, nice weather, good food..... doesn't really get much better than that :)

Arie's Birth Story

If you are close to Matt & I, you know we were trying for quite some time to add a brother or sister to our family. In November 2017, we lost our third baby. In August 2018, we lost our fourth. Both were very traumatic for me. I have always been very open about my miscarriages, because they are apart of me.. & those two babies are apart of our family, even if they aren't here physically. I can write another post about that subject in detail at another time. So, needless to say, when I found out in January of 2019 that I was pregnant again, fear was all I felt. God surprised me with Arie. He was meant to be. And our family is smitten.

It has been five and a half months since our little Arie Michael joined our crazy family. Five and a half months of pure bliss.

The week before he was born, I started having contractions, but nothing crazy & they were SO far apart, so it wasn't really anything to worry about. I was feeling pretty large. Much bigger than I was with the twins. I had a checkup on the 14th, and everything was just fine.

We hung out at home that night and around 11pm, I woke up with contractions that were really sporadic, but very strong. We live almost an hour from the hospital, so I was a little nervous. I kept track of them for the next few hours & at 5am, decided to call the hospital. I kissed (and cried) Parker & Peyton while they slept. I couldn't believe my babies, weren't babies anymore. They were about to be big brothers! My emotions were all over. I met my mom at the front door so she could be there with the twins when they woke up...and we were off.

If you know me at all, you know I was panicking that I was going to deliver in the car on the turnpike and Matt would be passed out at the wheel. God bless.

We got to the hospital around 6am and my contractions were strong, but still very sporadic. They ran a few tests & hooked me up to some machines for a few hours. I was contracting & dilated, but not enough to keep me. They were about to send me home, when my last test result came back saying that I was preeclamptic. In just about 2 minutes time, I went from just about to get dressed to come home to being admitted and induced.

LET'S DO THIS.

I have heard of preeclampsia before, but I never really knew what it was or how serious it could be until I was diagnosed. My doctors & nurses assured me I would be fine, & baby would be fine. But, my fears of losing my baby boy ( or my life/both) overcame me. My anxiety is usually pretty bad, but this really sent me over the edge. Matt did his best to keep me calm, but he was visibly worried too. Dang emotions.

I started Pitocin around 10am & everything was going as planned until later in the afternoon. The pain was becoming pretty bad. I was having contractions a few minutes apart, but I wasn't progressing as much as I should have been at that time. They came in to get me ready for my epidural & to break my water. Matt left almost immediately... needles are not his thing. I won't go into detail about either process, but I knew it meant my boy would be making his debut soon. I was so excited, but also terrified because of the preeclampsia. My L&D nurse was amazing!! She stayed with me & I literally hugged her the entire time I got my epidural. She was an angel!

After a few more hours of waiting......it was time. I looked at Matt & told him "you need to go get someone, NOW. He's coming!" He ran out into the hall & grabbed a nurse. They checked & surely enough, he was ready!! I couldn't wait to see him!

I started pushing and within a few minutes, his head was out. All of a sudden, "code blue" was being yelled out of the room & nurses were running in. I had no idea what was going on, I just wanted to get him in my arms, so I just closed my eyes & kept pushing. The entire staff was in the room encouraging me & cheering me on. Matt was behind me and said "I think I need to sit down." I was not surprised by this one bit! HA! After a few more pushes, he was here!!! He was whisked away immediately to get checked out from the PICU team in my room. Matt went to check on him & finally, I heard Arie let out a huge cry! I was so relieved to hear that sound! Matt yelled over to me, "He looks like your brother & Ollie!" I thought, ugh then he must be so cute!!!  bring.him.to.me.now.

Finally, I got to meet my boy! Arie Michael Steigerwalt. He was p e r f e c t. 7lbs 11 ounces of big, fat love! Our guy. My double rainbow. Born on September 15th at 1:52am.

He was born with the cord wrapped around his neck a few times, so his entire face was blue. This was the reason for the code blue & why Matt needed to sit (he thought the worst). It was scary to see, but it faded over the course of the next few hours & he was totally fine! PRAISE.

Years of trying & lots of heartache. but you were worth it ALL, sweet boy.